A laughter with wings

I kept looking outside
from the balcony window
but the leaves
just did not look the same
the colors had changed
they seemed simplified
they seemed like they were in a hurry
they seemed worried
they seemed scared

The playground
did not look the same
it seemed so empty
it seemed so grey and flat
it seemed so fragile
it seemed like it was falling apart

I started hearing the sound of his laughter
everywhere I went
he had a unique laughter
that seemed like it was coming
right from his stomach
and through his heart
a laughter with wings
that would fly around the room
and sit on everyone's shoulder
so true
so free

It embraced me
the familiar and warm sound of his laughter
a well kept gem from my childhood
it was what I could hold onto
to compose myself
it started dancing between the leaves
that had changed color on me
It started coloring the playground again
and putting it back together

tears
were an escape
a way to undo the tight knot
a bridge across the miles
to connect with those that are in great pain
much more than I can possibly feel
or even imagine

tears
I had to let go of only one
out of a hundred
in order to try to maintain
a picture of the world
for my daughter
that I got to look at for many years
a picture
that my parents kept for me
unhindered
unharmed
untouched

a picture
that required no explanations
no excuses
no prayers
no bandages
no pills
no pounding hearts

a picture
without fear
without a single painful tear
a picture
that I can still look up to
and imagine is real

a picture
that still requires
no makeup
and no makeover

a picture
so powerful
that helps me
try to understand
the cycles of nature
and try to be ok with it
and try to still see beauty in it
no matter how fragile
no matter how sudden
no matter how harsh
no matter how dark
no matter how troublesome

a picture
that flies high
with my uncle's free laughter.