a deck in the middle of nowhere

some things
seem like they
come to my mind only
as important
as if seen through
a microscope

and some that should
be seen through my microscope
or maybe i
think they should
don't

don't worry

don't worry
days attach themselves to nights
and so can you
just thinking
of how many
you have already passed
and how many have already
passed you
will reassure you
that this sunset
will melt on top of the mountains
and drip in the sea
the ocean
like any other

like water rushing through stone

the closing of this gate
like water rushing through stone
i close this chapter
and i look through this book
and i see words
running through the water
some floating on their backs
some melting
some swimming
some drowning
some dissoliving
and some dissolved

some i keep in my pocket
and some in my mind
for days
months
or even years

dopamine

keep pressing the bar
keep watching the screen
keep pressing the bar
pulling the lever

we forget
i forget
sometimes i do
why and what are the things that i do

but we happen again
and we push the button again

we forget
i forget
about the cheese..

..unless we forget about the bar
and we give oursleves
one day
without the go button

and we realize
and we eat the cheese eventually
and we save our lives

how it used to feel

where i feel most at peace
where i go when my mind takes a break
where there's air for everyone
and no one crushes the bugs
because the bugs are the host
and the dirt and the wind
are the host
so away you go with your tent
and away you go with your image of protections
away you go with any preconceptions
of time and what it should mean
and the day of the week
and what it could mean

in the land where the sun is your direction
and the lake your grocery store
and the valley your home

if you keep drinking water
you will always be in the state of thirst
if you always wear your hat
then you will never feel
how it used to feel
when the sun directly
hit your head
and your face
you will have to remember

back to yellow flowers
back to yellow memories
and yellow dreams

imagine

imagine
the way you did when you were six and fourteen
see
what you want in things
believe
that you can still become a farmer
free
from any chemicals
free
from any preconceptions
free from any definitions
free

like water inside a bowl
we take the shapes
of what we believe

climb the tree
free
from the fear of falling
roll
free from the fear of hurting your knee
free

imagine
the way you did when you were six and fourteen

we might all be the same

i've seen people who i thought
were made of the same kind of stuff
that i am made of
and i've met people
who i know a few of..
i know how we strive for difference
for uniqueness
but i enjoy knowing
that we can all suffer through
the darkness
of the same caves
and have the same fears with the same faces
and say and write the same things
and i enjoy knowing that
someone could be thinking
the exact same thing
as i am thinking right now.

i can see the real shapes

some pieces really stand out
some days
some memories
of some days

some words
that float in the air
some thoughts that need to be colored
some worries
to be bound and put away

a peace comes through me
and i can see clearly
for a few seconds
i can see the real shapes
that things are made of
it's like a white fog
a white blinding fog
clearing from your eyes
but just for a few seconds

there are so few pieces
but they make so many shapes

i have yet to speak
i have yet to say
and i have yet to begin

some pieces really stand out
some days
some memories
of some days
and the rest is a blurrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

reflect

reflect
on the surface all could be all right

carve
sometimes it's more dangerous
on the inside

break
when things look the same

collapse
before things get dark..

a different kind

brought to life
something other than itself
maybe a different kind

no water
not really
and no food
not even that much dirt
but a survivor..

would have been a sweet death

home

suffocating after
you have slept a few nights
where the sky is the roof
over your head
watching the stars
before you sleep

no walls
no boundries
bo limit

beautiful little cubicles
one on top of the other
all little homes
with little lights

little hopes
giant hopes
inside little walls

i guess i realize sometimes
how small i really am

when i get sand in my eyes
and dirt in my hair
and i feel the wind
trying to pick me up
from the top of the mountain

i realize how disconnected i am

how disconnected we are!

the warm paper memory

all you remember
from that night
is the smell of the paper
or the warm feeling
or a sound of a laugh
or how the light was hitting the corner
or the taste of the first sip
or a note
or the piece of paper..
flying around in the air

small random thought

sometimes
a thought
just a small random one
gets stuck in my head

i don't know why.

view

aaaaaaaaaaaaaall of this around us
is aaaaaaaaaaaaaall that we can see
and aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall that we can see
becomes aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaall of this around us

I used to think that I have more eyes
than ears
but eyes
I often close now
and listen
I often do

maybe the see-more-in-the-dark kind
the glow-in-the-dark kind

i saw saturn
like a cartoon
like an imagination

it's like seeing the screen move away
in front of your eyes

like hearing those notes that
lift you a few inches from where you are standing or sitting

it's like hearing
a brand new
face-melting-acid-dripping
song

breaking through your cocoon

I enjoy the freedom
i feel within me
the idea of diving deep into the water
and growing gills
knowing that you can adapt
or breaking through your cocoon
and flying away
just the idea
by itself
allows me to breathe
nice.. long.. deep....
breaths

of air

knowing that you don't always have to build bridges
that you can actually grow wings
if you really wanted to

..words streaming out
like water through a summer hose

to let fears
take shape
and face them
you understand
that most of them
are just fears
made of nothing
but a thought
that somehow got into your head

I would let go of myself
and let my whole body
and my whole mind
roll right down the sand hill
i enjoy the chaos
and i even enjoy the grains of sand
under my teeth

i hope to come back
as a frog
or a horse
or a bird
but mostly a bird

if there is coming back

random...
...random thoghts

random free thoughts

the elephant

redefining home

here's to redefining home..

not sure what makes it

the streets
the neighbors
the walls
the pictures on the walls
the memories
the friends
the colors
the warm and cold
the music you listened to
the jackets you wore
the smells
the fruit
the motions
the pictures you took
the language you spoke
the years you passed

not sure what makes it

floating thoughts

I have to let myself float
Not dream about wings so much
I am faster than myself sometimes
and i keep bumping into me
a container
a machine
need the floating thoughts to float
freely
forget time
forget the question marks at the end of the sentences
it's real
what changes we bring upon ourselves
we grow into who we want
but for me
a horizon
the devil's golf course
a quiet corner
and mostly music
to get back into rhythm when you lose it
to not lose rhythm
and the dive from soberness into unsoberness
on a saturday afternoon
with the anticipation of
the most beautiful sunset
which is one of the ones
that i will miss
the most

blank wall

I want to begin to write a story
maybe my story
maybe not
so much space and time
a blank wall to be filled with thoughts and dreams..

foggy road

The road ahead is foggy.
I can't wait to get lost in the fog..