live inside

it is an ugly day
only if you see it that way..

i live mostly in my thoughts
names..
i forget easily
even stories
so I have to try
to remember
i have to try
to live inside the second
not after it
and not before it

to live
and see
through
the innocent eye

i have thoughts
hiding behind my hair
i can’t cut my hair
i can’t cut my hair

no narrative

there is no narrative
just about a walk
and what comes to mind
during this walk
the feel of the day
and the colors
and the ways things were
and the way things can be..

don't overreact

less time to think
more time to act
don't overestimate
don't exaggerate
don't overreact

there will be circles
so hold on to you seat
hold on to your thoughts
dance over the rocks
dance over the rocks

it all passes

it all passes
maybe that's the sadness
that it keeps spinning
that it brings back
the same good days
and the same good nights
and the then the falling off the world nights
maybe that's the harsh reality of it
that it all passes
no matter how heavy
no matter how bright
the high and the low
maybe that's the sadness
that it keeps repeating
or maybe that's the beauty of it
i'm not exactly sure

no promises

for today
i can enjoy the sun
tomorrow has to make
no promises

and the night

i fall
in the hands of night
and the night
offers me a return
to my imagination..

i follow
the night
and the night
leeds me to the river
leeds me to the colors
offers me more
than i ever imagined..

tempted

from each side
there is a different view
from time to time
there is a different feel

i wonder what passes
i wonder what remains

melting on my skin

through both eyes
i never realized
how much i missed it

i absorb each flake
melting on my skin
and i let it sink

this is the start
of another journey
and i am glad to walk it
with both feet
through the white..

spittelmarkt

it's a memory
with colorful floating balls
and lights in the trees
it's a memory
beside the river
with a real splash
of life..

it lured us

the lake invited us
it lured us
we followed it's path..

it changes colors with us
and we look to it
for direction
clarity
and inspiration

one night

wrap one night
inside an old cloth
tie two knots
and put it inside
your old box
put the box behind the clothes
behind the other nights
close the white closet door
lock it

one day you will come to it
one day you will come to it

at least for the song

everything cycles
everything fades
and then finds the energy
to be again

it's good to be able to see
that the trees have changed color
and not miss it
it's good to be able to hear
the notes changing
the tone changing
and not miss it

it's good to be able to grow
within the cycle

everything starts
everything flows
and peaks
and then quiets down
at least for the song

to be able to play the flute
i will need to hear it

a soothing voice for the night
a twilight

everything cycles
everything fades
and then finds the energy
to be again

krumme lanke

walk into a path
that leads to a lake
and sit there
for hours..

enjoy the fog

and one day it starts
it starts making sense again
what you had been doing
to get to where you are
it starts justifying
and then it becomes
enjoyable

for me
a new way
could open
only if i allow it
and there is a fire
only if i don't dry it

seconds will be recorded
and then thought about
and then lived again
or maybe made sense out of

guide
take hold
of the strings

easy to get distracted
easy to miss the big picture
steer clear of the fog
steer right into the fog
but get stuck
and enjoy the fog
enjoy the fog.

the colors of a day

i can see the same colors
no matter where i sit..

it's funny
and it's weird
he said
how one light
out of all the lights
that we could have turned on
is now turned on
in the birds-eye view
of our lives

and now we look
upon the colors
from across
and they are rich
and they are
the colors of a day
melting beautifully
in the sky

the other half

tonight
i will find the courage
to see the other half

reach

for two ways
now I strive
my fingers to reach
wrap around and hold my toes..
..while I am sitting
and while I am standing

shining light

there is talk
of a shining light
i have been told
that it is quite a sight
have you an idea
of how one might
get to this place
of mysterious bright?

i need the ground

borderline
i pass the line
i run the street
i sleep the sun
i fall behind
i fall around
i figure out
i brush aside
i set aside
i hold it tight
i see the ground
i keep my ground
i know the words
breathe upside-down
i need the peace
i need the ground..

the ladder

four concrete walls
you can stand in each corner
and appreciate the angles
and the light
and the shadows
one might find it extraordinary
and be content

however
there is a ladder
not sure if one can reach the ladder
by themselves
the first step
sits quite high from the ground
not sure what’s there on the top
not even sure if everyone sees the ladder
but when you see it
it might be hard to stay satisfied
within the walls

who made this ceiling?

who made this ceiling?
were they forced to make it?
or did they enjoy making it?
how long did it take to finish it?
is it finished?
is this part of it or the whole thing?
why did they make it?
how did they create all those tiny carved details?
are the colors natural?
is it real wood?
were there specific tools used?
what is the use for this ceiling?
what is it really called?
is there another one like it?

i let time build

i let time build
it’s castle
i let the castle
stand in front of time
colors will fade
doors will crack
pieces will fall
from the castle

now time still passes
but it has become
the shining piece
on what remains
of the castle
in the dark

this is not it

just a few hours
and the world changes
she said
what people dress like
what people talk like
how they react
just the image of the world
you know
the possibilities..
and then he said
yes, and that's why
when you start thinking
that maybe this is it
you should remember
that this is not it..

fragile

from where i sit tonight
the angles are just right
the colors are unreal
the pieces have fallen
in mysterious places

"i have never
felt so fragile
in my life".

so much closer

as we walk home
i feel warm
holding your arm
and i know that
i see better
when i want
to see better

i see possibility
in the dark
holding your hand
i understand
that we have grown
so much closer

and the memory
of tonight
will shine a clearing light
on a dark path
on a dark night
that i will walk home
by myself.

new tints of the old shades

bringing back
parts of
the childhood me
and blending it
with our new family

pieces
here and there
reminding me of
how it used to be

like a past
that is happening again
now
the new colors
mixing with the old
and creating
a soothing
familiar
and fresh
feeling

new chapter

as the new chapter begins
we will learn to sing
with the birds
and rain
with them
on top of the cranes
everyday
meet..dance..sing
and fly away
leaving wild shapes in the sky..
"it's almost biblical".

sweet world of dreams

for the warmth
for the color
for the reality
for the escape
for the illusion

for the creation
for the music
for the string
that ties everything together

for the fate
that leads us back
to the lake
with the people
from the train

sweet world of dreams

for a memory
for a thought
for a name
for the realization

sweet world of dreams

walking inside
a fiction novel
blue and yellow buildings
for the memories
and the worries

sweet world of dreams

drift from the worldly

when the sun
begins to leave my room
my thoughts begin to
...drift
from the worldly
you can join me

when the candle
starts burning tears
no worries are welcome
from the earthly
you can join me

i greet each and every night
with a full glass
on an empty balcony
away from the worldly
you can join me

with what you can spare
of thoughts
or words
or wonders
or notes
aside from the worldly
you can join me

a brand new coloring book

don't tell me
that the sky
is the same color
everywhere
i know there's more colors
i know there is more
than i can see
i know there is more
than i can say
more than i can experience
and more than i can know
i know there's more
i see more colors
on the side of the streets
i see more colors
in my coloring book
i know there's more
so i will mix more
and i will let the colors
runintoeachother
and i will even buy
a brand new coloring book..

daydreaming

daydreaming..

on a boat
on a river
that runs through old streets
with old colorful doors
flowers hanging from the windows
the sun burning our cheeks..

on a train
by the window
through green grass
and green fields
as far as
the eye can see
small cottages
with sheep and goat and cows
and deers
around us..

on bikes
on a curvy thin dirt road
towards the top of a green hill
full glasses
cheese
and bread..

daydreaming..

no specific land

belong
to no specific land..
feel at home
in a new corner
you could have been born
in another time
in another place
in another family
or no family
remember..
we created the lines
we defined the borders
we all cling to what we think is ours
and we fight and we kill and we destroy
over what we think is ours

no keys
no walls
no passports
no borders
no suitcases
no visas
no registration confirmations
no certificates
no signatures
no oaths
no flags

belong
to the journey
that will take you
on top of the roofs
and on top of the mountains
and you will see
that we all speak the same
and we all feel the same
and live the same
and die the same..
if only we belonged
to no specific family
or last name
or neighborhood
or group
if only we belonged
to no specific land..

inspiration

i see pieces
that when brought together
will make a new..

i see orange cranes
moving away and towards me

i see a long empty balcony
bathing in sunlight

i see a corner
empty..
with a light
with a light and a rug
with a light and a rug and a small black table
with a light and a rug and a small black table and yellow and red pillows
with a light and a rug and a small black table and yellow and red pillows and speakers..

i see space
i see change
i see construction
i see inspiration

at your own pace

at your own pace..
build your new space
one step at a time
walk close to the line
and maybe around
and maybe above
above your own ground
one step at a time
one smile at a rhyme
drop way out of line
grow in your own space
there will be no race
at your own pace..

a look ahead

a look ahead..

i will trust
my decisions
too many choices
confuse sometimes

i will learn
to appreciate
and enjoy
those seconds
when i enter
a new perspective

i will learn
to remember..

new spirals

new spirals
are in the air
with new shapes
and florescent colors
i can hold on to one
for now
i can hold on to a few
i can hold on to what i knew
or i think i knew
i can hold on to a few
before they change shape
and escape
my mind
before they change color
before they misunderstand
before they spiral around
before they create a net
before they rock their own set
before they join
and take off
and smash together
and create a chaotic mess
a beautiful misunderstood hallucinogenic mess

i will unfold some thoughts

i will unfold some thoughts
at night
and untwist them
free them from the dashed lines
and the long words
and their meanings
uncurl them from the papers
and push them out of the calendar
and free them from the hands of the clock

i will let them feel
the still air
the fresh still air
at night

music will let them
feel again
music will free them
and let them imagine
and let them roll
down any path
that they wish

music
will replace their color
will let them remember
will let them feel again

i let my head fall
and turn
and rise
with the notes
and their weights
and i try to enter
their world

i miss the sunset
i do
but the sunset tonight
was almost as beautiful
makes me wonder..

drink from this lake

drink from this lake
and all your wishes will come true

drink from this lake
and your world will become new

drink from this lake
and your sorrow disappears

drink from this lake
and relive your favorite years

drink from this lake
you have only tonight

drink from this lake
and regain your sight

drink from this lake
but don't let anyone know

drink from this lake..


hey!! where did you go?

your words soothe me (a reflection on John Frusciante's thoughts)

breathe in
breathe out
let the notes take shape
realize
that things appear to your eyes
different from what
they might actually be

it won't be a real song
if there is no high and low

everything circles
everything fades
and everything returns

your words soothe me..

my skin will crack
your thoughts will fade
but our memory will grow back..

so how do we perceive?
why do we stand behind the bars
of our own thoughts?
why do we let ourselves believe
that we are separate
from our own force
from time
and from nature?

your thoughts soothe me..

you give me the energy
to move beyond the wall
even if i have to crawl
my way to the sidewalk

..the sun shines
even when you think it's dark
even when you see it's dark
even when you believe it's dark..

in the crosswalk

i have been hit
by lightning
in the crosswalk
life..
has so many blind spots
life..
has changed it's face
in the crosswalk

my thoughts
got hit by the same car
and got scattered
and hit the hard asphalt
in the crosswalk

the color
of the street has changed
the shape
of my dreams
have changed
the angle of my world
has shifted
in the crosswalk

you had your umbrella
in case of rain
and so did i..

you had your empty
shopping bag
with you
and so did i

i didn't know you
but i felt so close to you
and words were not needed
and words were not standing in the way
in the crosswalk

my heart was beating so fast
as my hands were shaking
as you were lying
in the crosswalk

i hold out my hand
to stop the cars
you hold up your head
to break the shock
or to ease the pain
or to tell us that you're ok
in the crosswalk

you should have been seen
you should have seen
i should have seen
that life can be broken
in a flash

the value of things
have changed
the rhythm of beliefs
have changed
in the crosswalk

i put my hands together
and i hope that you are alive
i hope that you are ok
and i hope that you survive
not just the crash
but the thought
that we are never safe
even when we think we are
even where we think we are..

i left a part of me there today
in the crosswalk..

there will be no flood

i will tattoo my thoughts
with my own color
even if grey
even if dark
even if see through

there will be no flood

there will be rain
when it's time for me to rain
there will be danger
but i won't wear a fence
around my green grass

so leave alone my peace
and leave alone my patience

bring in your clouds
your protruding doubts..

there will be waves
there will be storms
but there will be no flood

every now and then

maybe as other beings
we might have only seen
the difference between light and dark
and that would have been
the extent of our sight

maybe as other beings
we could have seen
two different things
at the same time
each with a different eye
each in a different light

maybe as other beings
we could have seen other dimensions..

for a few seconds maybe
every now and then
i might take a quick peek outside
i might stretch out of my mind
and crawl away from the web of my distractions
and realize that the direction of things
can be so different..

she had doubts at the time

..she had struggled
when she had started planting her tree
she had doubts at the time
she wasn't sure if it was going to grow
she tried a few times
she had doubts at the time
she wasn't sure if it was going to grow
any roots

but she did plant her tree
she watered it every day
she made sure it got enough sun
and enough care
she made sure it stayed healthy
she even sang to her tree
and trimmed the branches
she did everything she knew
to take care of the tree

she danced under the tree
she wrote and read under her tree
she lied in it's shade
and slept in it's shade
she saw it blossom
she even saw birds making nests
on the tree

she saw the seasons change her tree
she saw it naked and with fruits..

..she had struggled
when she had started planting her tree
she had doubts at the time..

how did i lose the sight?

i become aware
of so many little things
for which the meanings
were somehow lost
how did i lose the sight?

we compare worlds
every little piece of each world
and we know that it all
fits in one jar
and we know
that it all grew out of
the same jar
how did i lose the sight?

my feet walk through the new
my thoughts race through the old
and somewhere in the middle
they meet
how did i lose the sight?

days will pass as they always do
and i shall wake to a bunch of new
and i shall try to see again
through my right eye
and i shall regain my sight

when you least expect it

it pours..
when you least expect it
like an outburst
of the sky's emotions
a heavy gray cloud
and you don't really know
where it came from

but then
it's gets bright again
it always does
you know it does

one day
i will leave my umbrella
at home
but not today..

big blocks of gray

big blocks of gray
i guess you could see it that way
and i wonder what or why
or which way
i figure it could be a maze
just for our amusement
to walk inbetween the blocks
and stand beside the short ones
and be able to see your way
and stand beside the tall ones
and lose direction maybe
if you are me
and you lose your direction easily
nothing is to be found..
there is no start and end
there is no right or wrong way
just a bunch of blocks
and you can define your own way..
i had to slow down
to make sure i don't bump into others
but i still did
and it's easy to lose sight
of one another..
and when you get tired
you just sit on one
or on the ground
and rest your back on one
and look at the sun
shining through the alleys
inbetween the blocks
and wonder what the creator of this set
was thinking
if there was a thinking
behind this
or you don't wonder
you just enjoy walking around
and inbetween
and over and above
and then you leave.

i will wear my spirits high

alone..with you
i will wear my spirits high
i know i will stumble
i know we will crack
but as long as you've got my back
and i've got yours
we could tear the heavy air
we could carve away the scare
we could build the little nest
and try to enjoy the rest..

i see the broken glass
on the streets that we will pass
i see the fallen trees
i see the wounded knees
but i know that it will pass
and you know that it will pass

the street lights will outshine
the beauty of the lonely shrine
and the fog on the horizon will clear

the river is calm

days lose their given meaning
they lose their requirements
for where they have to be
and what they have to get done
they become
as free as days could be
as i learn to appreciate
each piece of each one
again
as i look up
each and every single word
that i used to know
as i create a new vocabulary
as i search for a new home
as i look into my map
to find myself..

i find myself in narrow alleys
in dressed alleys
in furnished alleys
in hidden alleys
in curvy alleys
in little-pieces-of-stone-floor alleys
beside aged walls
colorful doors and
holes-in-the-skin walls

some remind me
of images
i have maybe seen
in my childhood
in another city
in another light
or maybe the same light

maybe we see
what we want to see
maybe we carry
some images around
and replace some parts
of some streets
of some days
with pieces of our own mind

..i come back to the street
the real street
with the real name
i wait for the light
i cross the street
and i walk past the river
and the river is calm
the river is always calm..

i dreamt of another world

you are right
i will have to rely
on my illusions
and will have to forget
to worry about time
and being ontime
and i have to imagine..

i dreamt of another world
and that world came to be
i lived in my wooden boat
but i have come to see
that when the sea
becomes a calm blue
i have to dive into the water
and try to hold my breath
for a while..

i'm not waiting anymore

I'm not waiting anymore..
it is beginning to sink in

rather have the wind in my face
than on my back
to keep my hair
from blocking the way

so much has changed
it's good to hear your familiar voice
..with twilight as my guide..