At what cost

Some men improve the world only by leaving it.

– Oscar Wilde

How can I explain the irony of being an Iranian-American? It’s never been easy and especially not now. How can the two biggest parts of my identity be at war with each other? How can I overcome this internal battle? But the real battle is not internal and is not really between Iranians and Americans. It is the disagreement among Iranians in the Diaspora and also among the Iranians inside Iran. Some people see this war as the only way to free Iranians and the rest see it as destruction of a beautiful country and its innocent people for oil.

I have to remind myself and others that we all have to allow space. We have to see each other's perspectives. Every person will align their thoughts, opinions, feelings and their mental soldiers where needed, to protect their own identity, family and their own existence. Each of us is carrying different scars. Talking to friends and family about this war is difficult. Non-Iranian people had a hard time understanding why there were Iranian people cheering on this war as bombs were falling on people in Iran? What repression had the Iranian people experienced that some of them inside Iran also preferred bombs over the current system?

But not everyone. I have friends who have lost their family members as a result of repressions and crackdowns but are still against the war. They do not see the light at the end of this very dark tunnel. Or they do but do not think that this was that light. They fear that the destruction was not really meant for liberation. At the end of the day we have to be able to talk to each other because now was the time that we needed each other the most. It’s hard to stay positive and even sane under so much stress and worry. We all ultimately want the same thing. But some people are willing to sacrifice more or have other people sacrifice more to get there.