a look ahead

a look ahead..

i will trust
my decisions
too many choices
confuse sometimes

i will learn
to appreciate
and enjoy
those seconds
when i enter
a new perspective

i will learn
to remember..

new spirals

new spirals
are in the air
with new shapes
and florescent colors
i can hold on to one
for now
i can hold on to a few
i can hold on to what i knew
or i think i knew
i can hold on to a few
before they change shape
and escape
my mind
before they change color
before they misunderstand
before they spiral around
before they create a net
before they rock their own set
before they join
and take off
and smash together
and create a chaotic mess
a beautiful misunderstood hallucinogenic mess

i will unfold some thoughts

i will unfold some thoughts
at night
and untwist them
free them from the dashed lines
and the long words
and their meanings
uncurl them from the papers
and push them out of the calendar
and free them from the hands of the clock

i will let them feel
the still air
the fresh still air
at night

music will let them
feel again
music will free them
and let them imagine
and let them roll
down any path
that they wish

music
will replace their color
will let them remember
will let them feel again

i let my head fall
and turn
and rise
with the notes
and their weights
and i try to enter
their world

i miss the sunset
i do
but the sunset tonight
was almost as beautiful
makes me wonder..

drink from this lake

drink from this lake
and all your wishes will come true

drink from this lake
and your world will become new

drink from this lake
and your sorrow disappears

drink from this lake
and relive your favorite years

drink from this lake
you have only tonight

drink from this lake
and regain your sight

drink from this lake
but don't let anyone know

drink from this lake..


hey!! where did you go?

your words soothe me (a reflection on John Frusciante's thoughts)

breathe in
breathe out
let the notes take shape
realize
that things appear to your eyes
different from what
they might actually be

it won't be a real song
if there is no high and low

everything circles
everything fades
and everything returns

your words soothe me..

my skin will crack
your thoughts will fade
but our memory will grow back..

so how do we perceive?
why do we stand behind the bars
of our own thoughts?
why do we let ourselves believe
that we are separate
from our own force
from time
and from nature?

your thoughts soothe me..

you give me the energy
to move beyond the wall
even if i have to crawl
my way to the sidewalk

..the sun shines
even when you think it's dark
even when you see it's dark
even when you believe it's dark..

in the crosswalk

i have been hit
by lightning
in the crosswalk
life..
has so many blind spots
life..
has changed it's face
in the crosswalk

my thoughts
got hit by the same car
and got scattered
and hit the hard asphalt
in the crosswalk

the color
of the street has changed
the shape
of my dreams
have changed
the angle of my world
has shifted
in the crosswalk

you had your umbrella
in case of rain
and so did i..

you had your empty
shopping bag
with you
and so did i

i didn't know you
but i felt so close to you
and words were not needed
and words were not standing in the way
in the crosswalk

my heart was beating so fast
as my hands were shaking
as you were lying
in the crosswalk

i hold out my hand
to stop the cars
you hold up your head
to break the shock
or to ease the pain
or to tell us that you're ok
in the crosswalk

you should have been seen
you should have seen
i should have seen
that life can be broken
in a flash

the value of things
have changed
the rhythm of beliefs
have changed
in the crosswalk

i put my hands together
and i hope that you are alive
i hope that you are ok
and i hope that you survive
not just the crash
but the thought
that we are never safe
even when we think we are
even where we think we are..

i left a part of me there today
in the crosswalk..

there will be no flood

i will tattoo my thoughts
with my own color
even if grey
even if dark
even if see through

there will be no flood

there will be rain
when it's time for me to rain
there will be danger
but i won't wear a fence
around my green grass

so leave alone my peace
and leave alone my patience

bring in your clouds
your protruding doubts..

there will be waves
there will be storms
but there will be no flood

every now and then

maybe as other beings
we might have only seen
the difference between light and dark
and that would have been
the extent of our sight

maybe as other beings
we could have seen
two different things
at the same time
each with a different eye
each in a different light

maybe as other beings
we could have seen other dimensions..

for a few seconds maybe
every now and then
i might take a quick peek outside
i might stretch out of my mind
and crawl away from the web of my distractions
and realize that the direction of things
can be so different..

she had doubts at the time

..she had struggled
when she had started planting her tree
she had doubts at the time
she wasn't sure if it was going to grow
she tried a few times
she had doubts at the time
she wasn't sure if it was going to grow
any roots

but she did plant her tree
she watered it every day
she made sure it got enough sun
and enough care
she made sure it stayed healthy
she even sang to her tree
and trimmed the branches
she did everything she knew
to take care of the tree

she danced under the tree
she wrote and read under her tree
she lied in it's shade
and slept in it's shade
she saw it blossom
she even saw birds making nests
on the tree

she saw the seasons change her tree
she saw it naked and with fruits..

..she had struggled
when she had started planting her tree
she had doubts at the time..

how did i lose the sight?

i become aware
of so many little things
for which the meanings
were somehow lost
how did i lose the sight?

we compare worlds
every little piece of each world
and we know that it all
fits in one jar
and we know
that it all grew out of
the same jar
how did i lose the sight?

my feet walk through the new
my thoughts race through the old
and somewhere in the middle
they meet
how did i lose the sight?

days will pass as they always do
and i shall wake to a bunch of new
and i shall try to see again
through my right eye
and i shall regain my sight

when you least expect it

it pours..
when you least expect it
like an outburst
of the sky's emotions
a heavy gray cloud
and you don't really know
where it came from

but then
it's gets bright again
it always does
you know it does

one day
i will leave my umbrella
at home
but not today..

big blocks of gray

big blocks of gray
i guess you could see it that way
and i wonder what or why
or which way
i figure it could be a maze
just for our amusement
to walk inbetween the blocks
and stand beside the short ones
and be able to see your way
and stand beside the tall ones
and lose direction maybe
if you are me
and you lose your direction easily
nothing is to be found..
there is no start and end
there is no right or wrong way
just a bunch of blocks
and you can define your own way..
i had to slow down
to make sure i don't bump into others
but i still did
and it's easy to lose sight
of one another..
and when you get tired
you just sit on one
or on the ground
and rest your back on one
and look at the sun
shining through the alleys
inbetween the blocks
and wonder what the creator of this set
was thinking
if there was a thinking
behind this
or you don't wonder
you just enjoy walking around
and inbetween
and over and above
and then you leave.

i will wear my spirits high

alone..with you
i will wear my spirits high
i know i will stumble
i know we will crack
but as long as you've got my back
and i've got yours
we could tear the heavy air
we could carve away the scare
we could build the little nest
and try to enjoy the rest..

i see the broken glass
on the streets that we will pass
i see the fallen trees
i see the wounded knees
but i know that it will pass
and you know that it will pass

the street lights will outshine
the beauty of the lonely shrine
and the fog on the horizon will clear

the river is calm

days lose their given meaning
they lose their requirements
for where they have to be
and what they have to get done
they become
as free as days could be
as i learn to appreciate
each piece of each one
again
as i look up
each and every single word
that i used to know
as i create a new vocabulary
as i search for a new home
as i look into my map
to find myself..

i find myself in narrow alleys
in dressed alleys
in furnished alleys
in hidden alleys
in curvy alleys
in little-pieces-of-stone-floor alleys
beside aged walls
colorful doors and
holes-in-the-skin walls

some remind me
of images
i have maybe seen
in my childhood
in another city
in another light
or maybe the same light

maybe we see
what we want to see
maybe we carry
some images around
and replace some parts
of some streets
of some days
with pieces of our own mind

..i come back to the street
the real street
with the real name
i wait for the light
i cross the street
and i walk past the river
and the river is calm
the river is always calm..

i dreamt of another world

you are right
i will have to rely
on my illusions
and will have to forget
to worry about time
and being ontime
and i have to imagine..

i dreamt of another world
and that world came to be
i lived in my wooden boat
but i have come to see
that when the sea
becomes a calm blue
i have to dive into the water
and try to hold my breath
for a while..

i'm not waiting anymore

I'm not waiting anymore..
it is beginning to sink in

rather have the wind in my face
than on my back
to keep my hair
from blocking the way

so much has changed
it's good to hear your familiar voice
..with twilight as my guide..

please remember me

i'll enjoy every sip
..please remember me
my soul is thirsty
i need the energy
i need the curiousity
to stand beside me
to guide me
..please remember me
i got lost again
today
in the rain
maybe i needed to
my skin is thirsty
i dreamt of the rain
and the alley
..please remember me
i shake my head
and my thoughts spread
and hit the table
and hit the floor

the night comes slowly
the night is late
and i have been waiting
by the window
my glass is thirsty
..please
remember me

at home

you will feel at home
sounds, words and images
will become familiar
and you will take comfort
in knowing
that your mind
will find the strength
to be free

you will enjoy
the differences
and you will become
another version
of yourself

you will speak
and your words
will be understood

you will sleep
and will awake
and will emerge
as something new

i capture a few

i can't take it all in
but i take moments
and capture a few
and i move through
and i leave ounces of curiousity
along the way..

but i still get lost
in this beautiful big city
of new
hopes and dreams

relief

you tell me
and i don't remember
but now that you have told me
i create a memory
and i am sure
that it is different
from reality
it always is
each one

i flirt with the idea
like an abstract painting
of what could have been

and i get my groove on
and my headphones
and i pass a cloud or two
and i float in this neverending of blue
blue sky