big blocks of gray

big blocks of gray
i guess you could see it that way
and i wonder what or why
or which way
i figure it could be a maze
just for our amusement
to walk inbetween the blocks
and stand beside the short ones
and be able to see your way
and stand beside the tall ones
and lose direction maybe
if you are me
and you lose your direction easily
nothing is to be found..
there is no start and end
there is no right or wrong way
just a bunch of blocks
and you can define your own way..
i had to slow down
to make sure i don't bump into others
but i still did
and it's easy to lose sight
of one another..
and when you get tired
you just sit on one
or on the ground
and rest your back on one
and look at the sun
shining through the alleys
inbetween the blocks
and wonder what the creator of this set
was thinking
if there was a thinking
behind this
or you don't wonder
you just enjoy walking around
and inbetween
and over and above
and then you leave.

i will wear my spirits high

alone..with you
i will wear my spirits high
i know i will stumble
i know we will crack
but as long as you've got my back
and i've got yours
we could tear the heavy air
we could carve away the scare
we could build the little nest
and try to enjoy the rest..

i see the broken glass
on the streets that we will pass
i see the fallen trees
i see the wounded knees
but i know that it will pass
and you know that it will pass

the street lights will outshine
the beauty of the lonely shrine
and the fog on the horizon will clear

the river is calm

days lose their given meaning
they lose their requirements
for where they have to be
and what they have to get done
they become
as free as days could be
as i learn to appreciate
each piece of each one
again
as i look up
each and every single word
that i used to know
as i create a new vocabulary
as i search for a new home
as i look into my map
to find myself..

i find myself in narrow alleys
in dressed alleys
in furnished alleys
in hidden alleys
in curvy alleys
in little-pieces-of-stone-floor alleys
beside aged walls
colorful doors and
holes-in-the-skin walls

some remind me
of images
i have maybe seen
in my childhood
in another city
in another light
or maybe the same light

maybe we see
what we want to see
maybe we carry
some images around
and replace some parts
of some streets
of some days
with pieces of our own mind

..i come back to the street
the real street
with the real name
i wait for the light
i cross the street
and i walk past the river
and the river is calm
the river is always calm..

i dreamt of another world

you are right
i will have to rely
on my illusions
and will have to forget
to worry about time
and being ontime
and i have to imagine..

i dreamt of another world
and that world came to be
i lived in my wooden boat
but i have come to see
that when the sea
becomes a calm blue
i have to dive into the water
and try to hold my breath
for a while..

i'm not waiting anymore

I'm not waiting anymore..
it is beginning to sink in

rather have the wind in my face
than on my back
to keep my hair
from blocking the way

so much has changed
it's good to hear your familiar voice
..with twilight as my guide..

please remember me

i'll enjoy every sip
..please remember me
my soul is thirsty
i need the energy
i need the curiousity
to stand beside me
to guide me
..please remember me
i got lost again
today
in the rain
maybe i needed to
my skin is thirsty
i dreamt of the rain
and the alley
..please remember me
i shake my head
and my thoughts spread
and hit the table
and hit the floor

the night comes slowly
the night is late
and i have been waiting
by the window
my glass is thirsty
..please
remember me

at home

you will feel at home
sounds, words and images
will become familiar
and you will take comfort
in knowing
that your mind
will find the strength
to be free

you will enjoy
the differences
and you will become
another version
of yourself

you will speak
and your words
will be understood

you will sleep
and will awake
and will emerge
as something new

i capture a few

i can't take it all in
but i take moments
and capture a few
and i move through
and i leave ounces of curiousity
along the way..

but i still get lost
in this beautiful big city
of new
hopes and dreams

relief

you tell me
and i don't remember
but now that you have told me
i create a memory
and i am sure
that it is different
from reality
it always is
each one

i flirt with the idea
like an abstract painting
of what could have been

and i get my groove on
and my headphones
and i pass a cloud or two
and i float in this neverending of blue
blue sky

and i sometimes can't

i wait
for the second to come
to see
how things would change color
or not
or how and what and who i will
be thinking of
i wait
for the second to come
and that's all i have been doing
waiting
and waiting
and waiting

and i see a big big fog
and i see a very clear day
and i have to see things
for what they are worth
and i sometimes can't

and the horizon has to clear
and it hasn't
and it all matters on what
would be a world
that would exist without me
and to realize that world exists
without you and how limited you are
to just what you see and what you know

to imagine
what things could change and how
and howwourds couldfall uponecahother
and create biggerwords
and longerworts
and and i have to give weight
to what in another world could matter
and live
inside that world

while we wait

carries me forward
curves of the road
while we trace
while we grow
while we wait

memories overlap

memories overlap
and create
a familiar
and sweet
existence..

..throw rocks
into my path
i seek strangeness
and lonliness
i want a sponge as a head
to absorb challenge

i have been caught
with lonely thoughts
but they have new colors
and new shapes
and they speak a different language
and they are sleep when we are awake

i have been caught
with a mind
filled with
overlapping memories
which will keep overlapping
until i see you again..

i need a song

i need a song
that i could wrap my thoughts in
and carry those that i like with me

the heavy
the light
the worry
the fright
the anxiety

the gray and the lonely
the green and the blue
i will wrap
of all of these a few
and i will build upon this song
a new
and will let it sink deep into my sleep
and i will keep
turning my head
from side to side
to hear
and see and wrap
the free floating
toughts in the air
until the new song
is heard
everywhere

the ground still takes us

the ground still takes us
and holds us
and pulls us
and feeds us
and raises us
and lets us walk on it's skin
and lets us grow roots
and leaves and maybe even fruit
and calms us
and lets us lie down
inside
and lets us go back

..it outlives us
maybe all of us

hidden thought

there is a hidden thought
inside this day
and that is what i will see
behind my eyelids
at night
before i go to sleep

there is a hidden lake
behind this hill
where we first met..

insignificance

i need to bring myself to believe
that seconds could mean life times
that we all have our elements
that come to life when we are
most alive
maybe on top of the mountain
or deep in the ocean
when the child in us
comes alive again
and smiles
and splashes the water around
and the animal inside us talks aloud
and mixes with the nature

i bring myself to believe
in the unexpected
and the extraordinary
and i know that it all lives
within the ordinary

words come fast and sound the same
but i have to let them flow
to not get stuck in the words
and miss the thought

i have to mix and distort and layer
and understand
that each emotion is made of a million
and that we are here
and the beauty of it
no matter how sad
lies within the shortness
and the insignificance

little lives

it's very sad, i guess
how our lives are a fraction of a second
in the life of the universe
and how we try to work
with the characters
that we are given
and the minds
and the faces
and it all
does seem like a set sometimes
a stage

why are you crying?

but we try to improve
and do the best we can
with what we are given
and take care of the me
that we make of ourselves
or not
in any case it's true
for me at least
and it's very sad

why are you crying?

the need to do something other
than knowing the me
and dying with me

we all live within a little life
and we have no idea how long
it will be before we die
but we live
or we pass time
and live a few seconds of it

..the unexpected
i can remember the most.

anticipation

..and the anticipation grows

as i try to grow
into my new skin
i try to understand
what colors i could take
a new coloring book
and i gather my color pencils
and i choose sixteen
out of sixty four
and i get ready to color

..and the anticipation grows

camouflage myself

my mind
sets up a trap
when it's left free
and i have to learn
to see the trap
to warn myself
to camouflage myself
from my own mind
from my own self

rich fruity memories

our glaases
are full
of rich fruity memories

our minds
as light and free as the breeze

i close my eyes
and green leaves
and green grass
and blue sky appears

some days
flow like water through sand
and leave the smooth ground behind
with little treasures to be found