in the midst of it all

i'll take the fall
i'll bring the excuse
i'll show my face
and rest my case

i know that time
helps me forget
and it has
and the sunset
shows new colors every day
for a blending
for a changing of perspective
for a new way of thinking

the past
envelopes itself
it blows itself up
and flies into my sunset colored sky
..i see through it

we are special
you are right
only if we believe we are
and we can live up to our potentials
we can carry our dreams with us
and not let them get lost in the midst of it all..

the colors change

the colors change
within minutes
or even seconds
i know they do
i see that they do
i hold up my hand
i stretch out for yours
we are getting used to this angle
we are getting used to this spot
we are filling in the dots
we are stretching out our thoughts
our imaginations..

the tips of my fingernails

the tips of my fingernails
are white
the edges of my thoughts
are glowing

in the back of my mind
old memories have shifted around
and made way
for the new ones
of the same people
and the same places

i only realized now
how much i had missed
the gray hot summer days
of these streets

i walked around with family
with friends
new and old
under the heat of the sun
and i let the old thoughts melt away
i let my mind float
i let the heat wrap around me
and i carried it with me
back home.

another glance

you take a glimpse
at the water
the colors
the reflections
the flowers floating
mixing with the colors
circling the breeze
you feel the street
the warmth of friends
and you breathe in the energy
you know that this is the present
and that this might seem
one day in the near future
like a familiar dream
so you turn back
and you steal another glance

yesterday's new tints

would i see things differently
when i fly back?
would i hear more?
would i understand?
what will i pack?
what should i bring back?
have the colors changed?
have the clouds rearranged?
why does it seem
as if i will fly into
my own childhood dream?
why do i fly?
why do i fly back?

swirl

a circle
that wraps you in
a swirl
that contains the days
and all that is said
and all that is done

i find myself
by myself again
and it feels
as if it never were
any different..

they cut through lives
and leave
brick steel concrete
lifeless cranes
moving instead
of green leaves
i close my eyes again
and i imagine
blue orange and pink
blending slowly behind
my tall green trees
i close my eyes again
and i imagine..

corner

i mix
i match
i break
i crack
i color all of them back

i store
i send
i crave
i bend
i get back on the track

i see
i hold
i care
i fold
a corner to bring back

tall and strong

it is like I have lost
two of my close friends
he said

i feel the emptiness
i feel the loss

i wonder how
they can cut through life
like that
break it into pieces

i wonder why
i wonder how
people lose their connection
to the nature and the earth
i wonder how they see it

they could have built the house
beside them
they could have built
a smaller house

they could have removed them
and planted them
somewhere else

i feel angry
for not being there
to protect them

i feel sad
i will miss watching them
dancing through the winds
i will miss them welcoming the birds
sitting on their branches
and singing
i will miss the huge nest

i will miss the sunrise
sprinkled on their skin
and the sunset
coloring their backs

i will miss their winter nakedness
their spring blossoms
their full green
their yellow and orange fall

it was so sudden
he said
one day they are here
and the next they are gone

i feel like we are next
he said
that they are coming after us
the machines

i close my eyes
and i imagine
that they are still there
tall
and strong

i will miss our trees..

until

somehow
somewhere
someone
leaves a track
and you follow it
until
you find a new track

somehow
somewhere
something
makes you feel at home
you wrap yourself in it
until
you find a new home

second life

on the roof
right on the edge
of what looks like
a house
i don't know where
not sure if i like it
i really don't know it
don't know how to fly
where to fly
what to look for
what to ask

but there is a mystery
maybe some possibilities
some changes
some challenges
so i try again
i try to stay
i try to equip myself
to be able to be born
again..

from another point

from another point
i could merge
into a world
that has no beginning
or end
i would float
into a void

start and end
are definitions
words
frames
from which to contain
but they cannot keep
they cannot envelope
they cannot orbit
they cannot wrap
they cannot repeat
they cannot exist

shifts
signs
footprints
anything that follows..

it can be anything

i have no fear of it
it can be anything
we can all be bunny rabbits
he says
we can even be the balls
the colorful balls
on the river
we can be floating
we can be flying
we can be nothing at all
is there a fear
of the nothingness
of a loneliness
of a darkness
how is one to know
how is one to think
i have no fear of it
it can be anything

we might be able to hear them
the beings of the other worlds
in a few years

it is a matter of time
he says
before we can find a way
to live
forever
to make each piece survive
and function forever
but would i want it
even if i see it
happening

i have no fear of it
it can be anything
or nothing at all

a testament
for the memory
drawing over the curves
so that they wouldn’t fade..
over time

redrawing
revisiting
remembering

an absence
of just the physical nature
but present
as present as you can remember it
as present as you can keep it

as present as you can keep it.

it’s an escalation
a growth
can’t hold it in a photo
can’t draw it on the skin
can’t carve it out of wood
can’t see it from one angle

it’s a revelation
a release
can’t describe it with a color
or zoom into and out of it
can’t sort things into it
can’t own it

it’s a celebration
a joy
not for a day
or a part of an hour
not for the birth or death
not for the before or after

comes and goes..
comes and goes..

somewhere in between
a memory and an imagination
something roots
and grows
and becomes
a reality.

does it matter?

are dreams part of it?
does it live in our senses?
does it live in our thoughts?
does it exist out there
by itself
without us?

does it wait for us to realize it?
understand it
and maybe believe in it?

does it shake?
does it hurt?
like we do
does it walk
like we do?

do we catch it?
do we breathe into it
and out?

how do i capture it?
how do i save it?
why do i save it?
how do i know if it's it?
does it matter?

maybe the where you are
maybe the what you do
maybe the what you want to do
maybe the who you've been
maybe the what you see
maybe the who you know
the what you see
the what
the what
you want to see

maybe the night you have
maybe t e what yo mis
maybe the image
maybe the real image

the real
the real
maybe

i don't know.

linger

the sky did seem
to want to open up..
it didn't

but i don't mind
and we don't mind
your presence lingers
shines from inside
and warms us

for an undertanding

for an understanding
of why we do as we do
for a clearing
that seems so simple
and is yet
so impossible to reach
for a way of being
that is of no color
and has no name
but exists
I hope it exists..

the walls turn yellow and brown
and the air gets thick
the shadows shift and shiver
as the cranes fill the sight
the crows sing aloud
and the dust settles down

the dirt on the sidewalks will clear..

not with words

not going to go away
not with words
made of inks and papers
to not accept it
a layer right on top of things
hiding the holes and the carves
deep..low
i will catch the next train
it is only
in a few minutes..

hold your arms

I have come to war with you
i am on your side
you are on the other
I have seen your ways
and i have seen the destruction
hold your arms
hold your arms

white boxes

made of parts
that will be remembered
and pieces that will not
and not because you didn't want to
but because they just got lost
among one of the white boxes
or got thrown away
by mistake.

a way of thinking

a thought
could be addicting
a way of thinking..

..and before you know it
it will freeze
and now you can’t swim in it anymore
but you can walk on it
if you trust that the ice is thick enough
you are scared of falling
into the water again
you know
that this time
it will be too cold
and you might even
cut yourself with the broken ice

so you try
to think about something else..

clear

I look ahead
As I pass over
And pass across
It has all fallen into place
I just need to learn to walk straight
I just need to learn to walk unafraid
A clear and uplifting mind
A clear and free mind

under my feet

the white road ahead
so inviting
the sound of the snow
under my feet
days melting into one another
like the snow flakes on my skin
feels so clean
and simple
and it feels like
it can go forever
so I keep my head high
and my thoughts floating
the possibility
is there..